Museum Musings: rainbows, elevators, boxes, and Mrs Portnoy

Even though we haven’t had rain, there was a rainbow last Sunday evening.

over the rainbow

  • “You only have an elevator?” a woman said to a security guard
    “You can take the stairs over there behind you if you like.” he said
    “God no! I’m not walking up stairs!” she said going to the elevator.
    The guard looked at me, “Huh?”  The two of us laughed til our sides ached.
  • according to her credit card her name was Mrs Portnoy.   “Hah hah,” I said, “You must get a lot of comments about your name!”
    “Ohhh yessss, but thankfully not so much now that we live in London,” she said
    [I would’ve changed my name…]
  • “Do you sell pillows?” he asked
  • Tourist: “Is the restroom on this level or downstairs?”
    Me: “Downstairs.”
    Tourist: “What about on this level?”
    Me with a smile pasted on my fangs: “The restroom is downstairs.”
  • Christina aged seven had hair right down her back,  “I’ve never cut my hair. It’s almost down to my knees,” she said.
  • Tee shirt: LOVE is LOVELY
  • “I have an art book from every museum I’ve been to,” the young woman told her friend, “So I guess I may as well buy one from this place.”
  • Yesterday morning a woman came all the way back to the Museum (paid for parking etcetera) to return a cashmere scarf she’d bought as a gift for her friend, “I’m returning this because your store doesn’t have a box for it,” said she.
    “Madam,” I said to her, “so many people are trying to save trees these days, why don’t you pack it in an environmentally way?”
    “My friend is beyond all that,” she said.
    Beyond what?

puzzle box

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About dearrosie

We think we need so much, when all we really need is time to breathe. Come walk with me, put one foot in front of the other, and get to know yourself. Please click the link to my blog - below - and leave me a comment. I love visitors.
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25 Responses to Museum Musings: rainbows, elevators, boxes, and Mrs Portnoy

  1. Cindy says:

    There’s none so queer as folk, eh?

    • dearrosie says:

      Next time you go to a Museum write down all the questions you hear. I wonder whether they’ll all be the same? Do folks want a box for their gifts in other countries?

  2. Reggie says:

    Bizarre… especially the one who returned the scarf “because you don’t have a box for it”?!?!?!

    What on earth goes on in people’s heads?

  3. Priya says:

    What I’ll take back from this one:

    “Love is Lovely”
    “…a smile pasted on my fangs” Ha Ha. Good going, Rosie. Use ’em for something more someday.
    “My friend is beyond all that”. Good question. Beyond what?
    But most of all, I’ll think of “Do you sell pillows?” I will wonder about the reason of his asking this. Perhaps he had an ailing puppy who needed an extra cushioning in his car? Or maybe his cranky wife had just discovered that that she’d forgotten to keep a cushion in their baby’s pram because she was too busy poking imaginary spikes at the neighbour?
    Do you sell pillows for such emergencies?

  4. magsx2 says:

    Hi,
    How unusual to have a rainbow when there hasn’t been any rain, I love it.
    I really like the tourist who for some unknown reason didn’t understand that the restrooms were down stairs. 🙂
    The elevator was another good one.

    • dearrosie says:

      Hi Mags,
      I don’t understand the rainbow without rain. But it was beautiful as you can see from the photo.

      I’m so glad you’re enjoying my encounters at the museum. It makes it bearable to know I can share it with you all and we can have a good laugh together. As soon as I get another stupid comment I don’t hit myself on the head with it, I think oh boy I can’t wait to share it… Thank you for writing!

  5. Val says:

    So… Mrs Portnoy had a complaint, then? 😉

    • dearrosie says:

      Finally someone who picked up on Mrs Portnoy. (I’ve never seen that name before!) But you live in England and she told me that since they’d moved to London people had finally and thankfully stopped commenting on their name. Perhaps English people don’t read Philip Roth?
      Or perhaps people have forgotten, after all the book was written in 1969 and the movie with Richard Benjamin and Karen Black was made in 1972.

  6. Mysteries of the universe … why ARE people like that??
    As we Catholics like to say — you’re racking up points in heaven, darlin’!

    xoxoox b

    • dearrosie says:

      Believe me after all these years behind my cash register I’d love to know why people are like that.

      Betty, I’d rather take a reward in this lifetime but points in heaven can’t harm, I guess.

  7. Boris says:

    In my native village of Moronia we have a tradition of selfishness, arrogance and it’s not unusual to be ‘dumb-as-a-bag-o’ hammers’. Yes, we’re Morons. The polite, considerate and intelligent ones come from somewhere else.

    • dearrosie says:

      That’s hilarious Boris! I laughed so much I had to bend over to hold my belly.

      Next time someone gives me one of those ‘dumb-as-a-bag-o’ hammers’ answers, I’m going to tell them that thanks to my blogging buddy Boris, I know they come from Moronia.

  8. souldipper says:

    We had a good question from a group of (greenhorn) cyclists who were visiting our island. We have narrow, twisting, hilly roads – not all paved! One of the more rotund riders said, “I wish you had hills that were less up and down.”

    Okay…just a minute. I have a D7 Caterpillar at home. I’ll fix those hills right now!

    Acceptance is a long forgotten virtue! 😀

    • dearrosie says:

      I think those cyclists must come from Moronia. Hah hah!

      The more I learn about your island the more I like the sound of it – you have hills that go up and down and your narrow, twisting, hilly roads aren’t all paved.

  9. souldipper says:

    P.S. – Do you have those handy little gift bags that people can buy to put their gift in? We have lots of those in stores.

    • dearrosie says:

      Oh yes we have gift bags, but Americans have to have a box to put into the gift bag. I haven’t lived here long enough to know why. Perhaps one of my American readers can explain the significance of the BOX to us???

  10. Barbara Rodgers says:

    Oh what a lovely, colorful rainbow! Just remember, Rosie, people is peoples…
    “Someday we’ll find it, the rainbow connection, the lovers, the dreamers and me. All of us under its spell, we know that it’s probably magic….”

    • dearrosie says:

      Hi Barbara,
      Yeah “people is peoples”…

      Thanks for reminding us of the song “The Rainbow Connection”. I forgot it was written for The Muppet Movie and was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Song in 1979.”

      “Why are there so many songs about rainbows and what’s on the other side?
      Rainbows are visions, but only illusions, and rainbows have nothing to hide.
      So we’ve been told and some choose to believe it.
      I know they’re wrong wait and see.

      Someday we’ll find it, the rainbow connection.
      The lovers, the dreamers and me.
      Who said that wishes would be heard and answered when wished on the morning star?

      Someone thought of that and someone believed it.
      Look what it’s done so far.
      What’s so amazing that keeps us stargazing and what do we think we might see?

      Someday we’ll find it, the rainbow connection.
      The lovers, the dreamers and me.
      All of us under its spell.
      We know that it’s probably magic.
      Have you been half asleep and have you heard voices?
      I’ve heard them calling my name.

      Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors.
      The voice might be one and the same.

      I’ve heard it too many times to ignore it.
      It’s something that I’m supposed to be.

      Someday we’ll find it, the rainbow connection, the lovers, the dreamers and me.
      Someday we’ll find it, the rainbow connection, the lovers, the dreamers and me

  11. bronxboy55 says:

    It isn’t just that people come by and say and do funny things. You know exactly how to capture each one — sometimes with a simple report and other times with more elaboration, as needed. For example:

    “Do you sell pillows?” he asked.

    The fact that you didn’t include your reply adds emphasis to the strangeness of the question. These are my favorite of your posts, Rosie. Please keep them coming.

  12. dearrosie says:

    Muchas Gracias Charles, and for taking the time to explain why you enjoy my posts. It’s heartwarming to get such encouraging feedback from someone like you who writes for a living, and who writes so well.
    btw I think your last post was your best!
    http://mostlybrightideas.wordpress.com/2011/09/15/the-search-for-intelligent-life/

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