Are you new?

“Ugh! Gross! Sixty’s disgusting! I’d rather be dead!
I’ll kill myself when I’m fifty-nine,”

– said a twenty-something female walking past my cash register.


There are women who think once they’ve reached their sixties that they’ve lived a full life and done everything they’re going to do, and voluntarily go to the senior center to play Bingo and knit scarves.

I’m not one of them.

About a year before she passed away, I had lunch with my then ninety-four-year-old Mother at her “retirement home”.  Walking into the dining room Mom said to a little old lady sitting at a table near the entrance, “Hello. Are you new?

“Yes, I’m two weeks old,” she said.

“I thought I hadn’t seen you before. Welcome,” Mom said.

I still feel new. This year I had three new,  life-changing experiences.

  1. I walked the Camino
  2. saw my daughter get married
  3. and I just met one of my blogging buddies.

I’ve followed Debra’s blog “Breathelighter” for about a year, after our blogging buddy Muchow honored both of us with the same award.

I’ve learned so much about the history of California from reading her posts.

Did you know that the correct name of Los Angeles is El Pueblo de Nuestra Señora la Reina de los Ángeles (the Town of Our Lady Queen of the Angels), and it was a Spanish pueblo founded in 1781?

It’s all described in Debra’s post My search for the Los Angeles Zanja Madre and introducing William Mulholland– thief or visionary?

Who was William Mulholland and did he steal the Owens River water for L.A.’s lawns?

Read the post William Mulholland and the Los Angeles Aqueduct–Are there lessons for the future? which begins, “Shady land deals are as much a part of California’s history as the Catholic missions and the Gold Rush.”

Debra posts could have been written by yours truly. Though I haven’t blogged about it – yet – I’m really concerned about the world-wide dwindling supplies of water, and am shocked how most of my neighbors who live in this desert-like, overpopulated part of the world, don’t care.

[Note: If you think you know something about California’s water wars and can’t remember where, you’ve most probably seen Roman Polanski’s 1974 movieChinatown.”]


 I was nervous when I knocked on Debra’s front door, someone my mother’s generation would’ve called my “pen-pal”. I worried that it was going to be one of those awfully tense meetings when I wouldn’t be able to think of anything to say so I’d have to spend the afternoon with a smile plastered on my face, and I realized while I lifted my hand to knock, that I didn’t know what Debra looked like.  I “speak” to a flower not a person.

This is her gravatar.


As soon as Debra opened the door, we impulsively hugged each other, and then we both started talking at once, and then we laughed, and that’s all it took.  We spent the next five hours yakking, interrupting each other as if we’d been friends for years.

We discovered we are very close in age, were married a month apart, have similar tastes in food, and politics, like the same farm-yard animal [!], and though we may need bifocals to read, and the odd ache and pain, we’re ready for new adventures, and not the bingo table.

Meet Debra

We ate a delicious lunch at one of my favorite lunch spots, Real Food Daily, in Pasadena. As it’s an organic vegan restaurant, I didn’t have to worry about food allergies.

After lunch we had time for a quick visit to the Huntington Library. Another place we both love to visit.

The Huntington Library, Art Collections, and Botanical Gardens, was founded in 1919 by rail magnate Henry Huntington who had a special interest

  • in gardens – there are a dozen different gardens on the 120 acres
  • books – it’s one of the finest research libraries in the world, the collection includes the Ellesmere manuscript of Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales, a Gutenberg Bible on vellum, the double folio edition of Audubon’s Birds of America, early editions of Shakespeare etcetera
  •  art – American as well as European artists.

View of the Huntington gardens

We only managed to see the exhibit, “Just Cause: Voices of the American Civil War.

The title comes from Abraham Lincoln’s parting words to his new general-in-chief, Ulysses S. Grant, in April 1864:  “And now, with a brave army, and a just cause, may God sustain you.”

The exhibition included prints, pamphlets, cartoons, letters and diaries of  soldiers, chaplains, surgeons, from both the North and the South, black and white, all of whom defended their own visions of the just cause.

Did you know that Walt Whitman spent three years caring for the wounded in a Washington hospital? The Huntington has his 1863 notebook…

Walt Whitman’s 1863 notebook

I was particularly interested to read that the new Republican Party “was dismissed and ridiculed as an assemblage of wild-eyed radicals.”

In the explanation for the above poster, the Republican Party president John C. Fremont is accused of pandering to the lunatic fringe of  American politics. The poster includes a prohibitionist, a feminist, a socialist, an adept of “free love”, a “papist” Catholic priest, and a black man who wished to elevate “De Poppylation ob Color” above the whites.

Harpers Weekly celebrated the end of the war with this cartoon dated April 22, 1875.

Stay tuned, we’ll be returning to the Huntington to see the main exhibition: “A Strange and Fearful Interest: Death, Mourning, and Memory in the American Civil War.”

I hope you’ll go visit Debra’s blog. Here’s the link.


What about you, are you ready for new adventures? Have you met any of your blogging buddies?

I can’t imagine any blogger would be happy just to sit on the bench playing Bingo, but I could be wrong.

About dearrosie

We think we need so much, when all we really need is time to breathe. Come walk with me, put one foot in front of the other, and get to know yourself. Please click the link to my blog - below - and leave me a comment. I love visitors.
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75 Responses to Are you new?

  1. Good post. When I was a young boy I remember thinking – Wow, in the year 2000 I will be 46 – I thought that was ancient but 12 years later I still feel like that young boy!

    • dearrosie says:

      I also remember thinking that 40-year-olds were ancient.
      It’s an interesting question to ask yourself how old you feel. I still feel 40 and I guess that’s why I knew I could walk on the Camino

  2. I actually had tears reading this 🙂
    (in a good way)

  3. Reggie says:

    Hello Debra! It is lovely to meet you via Rosie’s blog – what a wonderful, warm-hearted story of an unforgettable encounter. 🙂

    • dearrosie says:

      Debra is a very warm, friendly, easy to know person. You’d like her too.

      Although your gravatar is a bear, I do know what you look like because you’ve shared some photos with me. I hope we can meet one day. I haven’t forgotten your kind invitation to join you for a cup of tea in your garden 🙂

  4. Love LOVE this post … but I’m a tiny bit jealous! Can’t wait to meet you in person, too, someday Rosie!!!

    • dearrosie says:

      I can’t wait to meet you Betty. You were my very first blogging buddy and very often in those early months you were the only person commenting on my posts… Thank you for that.

      hey Betty can I offer my services as your personal secretary whenever you travel? I’m ambidextrous (I know how to hold both a pencil and a pen) I’m not afraid of strange food ( I ate pulpo in Spain) or strangers (I wasn’t scared to knock on Debra’s door) or long hikes on muddy roads… 😀

  5. speccy says:

    Debra sent me over here, and I’ll keep on coming back 🙂

  6. aFrankAngle says:

    Great reflective post. Glad to see (from both posts) that the two of you had a great meeting … and to spend it at a museum is fitting! Now that I read your post about the meeting (I read hers last night), I have a greater appreciation for both of you!

    The old day my wife and I were talking about the modern day civil war in America …. and Debra told me the two of you (while at the museum) talked the similarities of the past and today.

    I’ve only met one fellow blogger … and we too had a good 5 hours together … especially considering that I drove 3+ hours to meet him. Considering the drive, it was a full day … but a good one.

    • dearrosie says:

      Thank you for joining the conversation about my meeting with Debra. She’s so warm and friendly it’s so easy to feel comfortable in her company.

      Six degrees of separation is also true for bloggers. Isn’t it amazing/ incredible that you are blogging buddies with both of us? Sheesh! Are our blogging circles so small that we eventually all meet the same few bloggers? How did we meet Frank?

      Come on over! I know you would love the exhibition at the Huntington. What’s the saying, “History repeats itself”? There were so many similarities from the past that were still true today, but I thought there was something wrong with my eyes and had to take my glasses off and clean them when I saw that the Republican Party was:
      “ridiculed as an assemblage of wild-eyed radicals.”

  7. sybil says:

    I’m thinking of getting something to “notch” when I meet another blogger. A gun handle seems a bit violent. Besides, where the heck would I get a gun with a wooden handle ? Bloggers haven’t just been people I’ve met. Two of them have become a big part of my life. I “think” I’ve met five so far.

    New adventures ? Yep. Often. I just need to schedule naps in between. 😉

    Wonderful post Rosie.

    • dearrosie says:

      You’re so funny Sybil, thank you for joining in the discussion. I know I’d enjoy meeting you.

      You’ve already met five bogging buddies – and two of them are close friends? Gosh Sybil you win the prize. From the comments so far, the rest of us have only been lucky if we’ve managed to meet one buddy.
      I assume the two who are close friends are the ones who live near you? I remember the trip you took with two other bloggers to the island and you all blogged about your day?

  8. The twenty-something woman walking past your cash register would do well to be more careful about what she wishes for. My mother died at age fifty-nine and she was far too young and full of life and dreams to have to leave this world so soon. I guess we learn to think twice before we speak as we get older…

    “Show me a day when the world wasn’t new.”
    ~ Sister Barbara Hance.

    You and Debra look like old friends in that great picture – here’s to new friendships! What a wonderful day you had. I’ll have to go check out Breathelighter soon. I love this post, Rosie!

    • dearrosie says:

      Oh gosh Barbara your Mum died way too young. What a very sobering reminder that there are people who die at age fifty-nine. I’m so sorry.
      When I heard the rubbish coming out of that spoiled girl’s mouth I was so shocked that I couldn’t think of a quick response. Her companion (and I don’t think she was her Mum) said to her, “I’m fifty-five. I don’t want to kill myself in five years,” but the young missy didn’t want to hear.

      Love the quote.

      I hope to meet you too Barbara. After I read your comment on your last post ie
      “Our foremothers were extraordinary women, hard workers and unsung heroes, keeping their families strong, well-fed and well-loved.”
      I know that you’re a kindred spirit.

      Thank you for joining in the discussion.

  9. Kathy says:

    Rosie, how cool is that? You got to meet one of your blogging buddies! I love when that happens. It makes our blogging world a little more intimate. Also cracked up reading your lead-in. Really? If sixty is the end of the world, a lot of us are in trouble. On the other hand, my grandma announced she didn’t want to be 90 (“because 90-year-olds have too many wrinkles”) and promptly died at 89. We got to watch the power of our crazy thoughts!

    • dearrosie says:

      Good gracious Kathy when I read your grandmother’s story and that she died at 89, it gave me goosebumps. Wow. I wonder how many of us realize the power of our thoughts? I’d love to see that spoiled little missy when she’s 59!

      Am I correct that you’ve met some of your blogging buddies? I remember Reggie tried hard to get to you when she was in the US.

      • Kathy says:

        Yes, I have met several, Rosie. And you’re always a possibility during trips to San Diego to see the kids! Wouldn’t that be sweet someday?

      • dearrosie says:

        Next time you come to San Diego if you can’t come to my cash register and ask me a silly question, I’ll drive down to SD and meet you there.

  10. Brilliant post, brilliant comments, and a brilliant new blogger to read (Debra). I think you’re both inspirational!

    I think younger folk who make comments like the one you overheard haven’t had any good role models, sadly. Aging is a mentality. You can either say, “It’s all downhill from here…” or “The best is yet to come!”

    Thank you for your words, your photos.

    • dearrosie says:

      You’re too kind Tara, I’m delighted to know I can inspire you living half way round the world.

      I don’t know whether it’s a lack of role models or that these kids have been spoiled so badly they’re growing up into selfish beast.

      Thank you for your lovely comment.

  11. lexiesnana says:

    This post really made me smile.Thank you.

  12. How cool that you got to meet a fellow blogger. I’ve met several in the past year or so–4 to be specific–omg, it’s 5! Kind of hard to believe. Love my blogging pals. Hope to meet you sometime soon.

  13. We do become friends, don’t you think? So it seems only normal that we should meet up someday. Glad you got to meet someone so interesting. Her blog sounds interesting. Will check it out, soon.

    • dearrosie says:

      I think we share more of ourselves in our blogs than we’d do in regular friendships, so we know more about each other. I know all about your beautiful dog Gretel, but when I meet my real flesh and blood friends we don’t usually talk about our dogs.

      Yes do go over to Debra’s blog. You’ll be glad you did.

  14. shoreacres says:

    What a wonderful meeting! When I started blogging, nearly five years ago, there was so much anxiety about being “known”. People were really afraid to even put their name on the internet – let alone any personal details. And to meet someone? My goodness – you could run into an axe murderer, or a rogue Avon dealer with her trunk full of contraband, intent on making you her best customer! No such worries any more – a little caution is good, but paranoia’s long gone.

    I’ve met seven of my blogging buddies now – on my recent trip to Kansas, I met three new folks, in Oklahoma and Kansas! And in January, if I can pull it off, I’m going to a gathering of weather underground bloggers in Florida. There could be a dozen or more there! It’s such fun – I really enjoy it.

    I guess I should go take my pulse now or something. I think I’m still alive, even though I’m 66. My gosh – I hardly can believe that. I feel about 40, and sometimes I act about 14!

    • dearrosie says:

      I think it’s encouraging to learn how much bloggers and blogging have progressed in the past decade. There are some people who still don’t like to give out their names or use personal details, but more of us are sharing our stories. You know when I knocked on Debra’s door I never for a moment felt scared that she’d be an axe murderer or an Avon lady. I wonder whether it was because I’ve seen pictures of her grandchildren in her house, and her turtle in her garden?

      You’ve met seven of your blogging buddies? Wow! Were all of them as nice as you thought they’d be? I selfishly hope you can get to the weather underground weekend because I’d like you to blog about it.

      I don’t think you need to check your pulse, you’re one of the most alive people I know. I’m sure the little twenty-something missy would not be able to keep up with you if you asked her to help you sanding a boat.

      • shoreacres says:

        They were exactly as nice as I’d imagined, and maybe a little nicer! Of course, as you point out, we all know quite a bit about each other before most of these meetings take place. If we hadn’t figured out we have a few things in common, the real-world meetings never would take place.

        I just snapped to that exhibit about the Civil War. Somewhere, sometime, I think I read an article about it – either that exhibit or one much like it. I’d love to see it. That Harper’s illustration is just so poignant.

  15. I’m smiling again, Rosie. We did have such a great time, didn’t we? And I’m just shocked and a bit horrified at what you overheard from that poor younger woman. Can you even imagine walking into the future with that much dread? I’m ready to plan another day of adventure…so we must! 🙂 Thank you for such a lovely post in response to our meeting. You have lovely people who follow you and count you as a friend, and I hope to meet more of them myself! 🙂 oxo

    • dearrosie says:

      Debra I’m smiling as I reply to your pink flower because I know the woman behind those petals 😀
      There are millions of blogs out there, yet you and I both follow Munchow and Frank. Don’t you think it’s an incredible coincidence? How did you meet them?

      I dread being one of those old woman stuck in a wheelchair with drool running out my mouth who has to depend on someone like that spoiled young woman…

    • nrhatch says:

      I enjoyed both of your posts . . . and now I know what Debra looks like behind that pink lotus. 😀

      • dearrosie says:

        Thanks for popping round Nancy.
        I didn’t identify the lotus flower to help Debra keep her anonymity 🙂 I’m glad to introduce you to the warm, friendly and easy to talk to person behind the pink lotus.

  16. What a great post, Rosie, on so many levels. I am so happy that you and Debra met and had such a wonderful time. I look forward to visiting her blog. I had the pleasure of meeting one of my blogging buddies, and am so glad that I did. We felt like old friends when we got together, and we often talk by phone now because we live very far apart. While it seems so “weird” to some people, I think it’s only natural to meet someone we connect so well with “virtually” and to hit it off in person.

    • dearrosie says:

      It is a huge thrill and a big pleasure to meet our blogging buddies. I hope to meet you one day AA. Thought I don’t know your name or even what you look like – I speak to a cloud when I write to you – we’ve shared stories and encounters with each other that makes me feel I know you well. I still remember that newspaper man you greeted at the subway every morning, and that you wanted a dog when you moved to D.C.

  17. Val says:

    The Who’s ‘My Generation’ sprang to mind, reading the first part of your post, particularly the lyrics “hope I die before I get old”. I felt the opposite of that when I was younger, I couldn’t wait for my younger years to be gone. I wanted to be fifty as I thought everything would somehow be better then! In some ways, I was right, in many ways wrong – we’re always ourselves regardless of age. And so is everyone else.

    So far I’ve only met one other blogger – someone I’ve known online since about 2004 – she visited me in London several years ago when she was on holiday in England. She’s from Norway. We got on instantly, too. 🙂

    • dearrosie says:

      Your “we’re always ourselves regardless of age” is the perfect summation of the sad story of aging. I’ve served too many people at my cash register who have had so much plastic surgery that they look like a caricature of themselves …
      You couldn’t wait to be 50? Not me. When my father turned 50 I remember feeling embarrassed that I had such an old parent.

      I hope to meet you one day Val.

  18. Dee Ready says:

    Dear Rosie, I, too, have learned so much in the past year from Debra’s postings. And I’d have loved to be part of your getting together in Pasadena and going to the Huntington and its Civil War exhibit. I’m so looking forward to the movie “Lincoln,” which is being released tomorrow.

    As to meeting blogging friends: I haven’t as yet. But in January I will, when a much younger blogger with whom I have much in common visits here with her oldest daughter who will be eleven. I’m so looking forward to that also. She and I have spoken so often about writing–which is a passion we both share. Meeting her face to face will be 2013’s big gift to me. Peace.

    • dearrosie says:

      It would’ve been a wonderful extra if you’d been able to join us at our get together Dee. After seeing the Civil War exhibit at the Huntington I also can’t wait to see the movie “Lincoln”. I hope to go soon.

      I’m really happy to hear you’re going to meet a blogging buddy. It’s such a unique experience to finally get to meet someone whose words you know so well. I’m sure you’ll be doing a lot of smiling and hugging.

  19. munchow says:

    How nice to know that I have been a catalyst for one of your later life-changing experiences. It sounds like you and Debra hit it out very well. Must have been really fun. And both of you seem to be good examples in making your earlier point. It’s not age what makes you old, it’s lack of mental willingness to stay alive or anew. Every day is a new day for me – and open for all kinds of possibilities.

    • dearrosie says:

      It was thanks to you that I met Debra. I wonder whether you even remember honoring us with the same blogging award? I so look forward to meeting you. I hope your work brings you to Los Angeles real soon.

      I also think that it’s not age that makes us old, but our mental image of ourselves, and whether we’re dreading or looking forward to each day’s adventures.

      • munchow says:

        I have to admit I don’t remember that I nominated you for the same award, although I do remember nominating both of you, of course. As for meeting up in LA, yes, that would be really fun. I am very often in the States, although a bit further north, but eventually my path will pass LA, I am sure of. Or if you are ever in the vicinity of Seattle, let me know, I might be there at the same time, and that’s another good option for meeting up.

      • dearrosie says:

        I’ve only been to Seattle once and that was many years ago, but you never know…

  20. I like your last line about playing Bingo. It doesn’t seem likely that a blogger would be content not exploring. I haven’t played Bingo, so I can’t say whether I’d spend any amount of time playing it, but I am leaning towards carrom. Have you ever played the game?

    You and Debra look beautiful.

    And yes, I am new, and I suppose I shall always be new.

    • dearrosie says:

      I’ve only played Bingo once when I was a small child and we were staying at an hotel with evening “activities”. I cannot imagine sitting down and playing it day after day after day…

      I’ve never heard of carrom. If you like it I’m sure I would too. Can we play it when I come to visit you?

      Remember when you shared the story of how you’d always manage to sneak mango pickle to your granny? That’s when I knew you were new, and a kindred spirit.

      • Carrom is like billiards, only a little more ‘earthy’. You hit a striker with your finger to displace discs made of wood to ‘pocket’ them. Of course we’ll play it when you’re here!

        I am so happy you remember the pickle story. Thank you.

      • dearrosie says:

        I look forward to playing the game with you. I can’t imagine using my fingers and not a “stick” to push the discs.
        I thank you for sharing the pickle story with us!

  21. bronxboy55 says:

    I’ve met two blogging friends and both experiences were both exciting and comfortable — like getting together with an old friend for the first time. I visited the Huntington a few years ago — the Japanese garden is incredible. And who knows? Maybe you, Debra, and I were all there at the same time.

    I hope to meet you someday, Rosie. We’ll have some gelato.

    Wonderful post.

    • dearrosie says:

      Good grief Charles you were here in Los Angeles but you didn’t come to my cash register to ask me a silly question? I’m so disappointed. 😦
      I also love the Japanese garden at the Huntington. Did you know that they’ve built a Chinese garden which is equally lovely?

      I like they way you describe the meetings with your blogging buddies as “exciting yet comfortable.”

      Next time you come to L.A. we will drive to Malibu for pistachio gelato.

  22. Lovely, thoughtful post, my friend! Perhaps one day you and I will cross paths the way you and Debra did 🙂
    Loved the shot of Walt Whitman’s notebook!

  23. lexiesnana says:

    How cool is that to meet someone you only know by words.I loved this post and I hope I get to meet some of my blogging buddies some day.

  24. You and Debra are an inspiration. It only shows that blogger friends are real people you could have as an amazing friend outside cyberspace. That they are true to how you perceive them. Generous, warm, fun and adventurous. Her gravatar. Flower reflects the beauty of her heart as soon as she opened the doors of her home. Perhaps one day, a get to meet one of the most wonderful blogger buddies one day. Thanks for sharing Huntington’s legacy and your legacy of friendship. Happy Thanksgiving!

    • dearrosie says:

      Hi IT,
      I hope you are able to meet some of your many blogging buddies. It is such a wonderful experience to meet a stranger who somehow seems like an old friend.
      Happy Thanksgiving greetings to you and your lovely family.

  25. Arindam says:

    It’s wonderful that you got a chance to meet one of your blogging friends. Sometimes I too wonder, what it would be like if I would have get a chance to meet any of my blogging friends. Although I’ve very little chance to meet any of them, as I live in completely different part of the world.
    I just love this post. It’s wonderful that, how a medium like blogging bonds us so closely, just by sharing our thoughts with each other.

    • dearrosie says:

      Arindam I know without a doubt that I will be knocking on your door one day. 🙂 Will we sit and drink ginger tea on your verandah?

      Thank you for your lovely comment.

      • Arindam says:

        It will be one of the best day of my life. 🙂 I have to make sure that I am going to prepare the best ginger tea that day. 🙂

      • dearrosie says:

        I’m sure your ginger tea will be delicious Arindam.
        After we’ve had our tea do you know what we’re going to do? We’ll go to a Museum. And the next day we’ll go for a 10 mile hike 🙂

  26. what a great great post! it will make me smile for the rest of the day!

  27. souldipper says:

    Love your spirit and attitude, Rosie. I’m with you. I’m going to live each day as though I’m off on a round the world trip the next day! Current and enthused.

    How neat that you were able to meet a blog buddy. I can believe you two had tons to share! We sense these things even through electronics and written word!

    Bob Dylan wrote and sings a song that says, “I was so much older then. I younger then that now.”

    I understand that part of the song with all my being!

    • dearrosie says:

      Your comments are always so generously full of love and understanding, I look forward to meeting you Amy. We’ll put on our hiking boots and let our feet take us around the world.

      oh gosh thank you for reminding me of the words to that Dylan song. I only understand it now from the perch of my years of wisdom.

  28. Robin says:

    Wonderful post and fantastic attitude, Rosie. I have no intention of retiring to the Bingo bench either. I plan to hike until I drop dead. If I’m lucky, I’ll die hiking (beats dying of a long and drawn out disease). I’ve met several blogging buddies, and it has always been a great experience in spite of my nervousness (my thinking runs along lines similar to yours — thinking we might not have anything to talk about, etc.).

    • dearrosie says:

      Mr F and I often see couples who look as though they’re in their 80’s who are still out hiking. It’s inspiring. I also plan on hiking til the very end.

      I’m impressed that you’ve already met several blogging buddies. I guess one always feels nervous before meeting a “stranger”.

  29. Dinah says:

    Wow! Fantastic post, Dear Rosie, and equally fantastic responses!! I love the idea of listing the highlights of your life at the end of the year. And you’ve had such marvelous ones. To be able to say that you’ve made a new friend through your writing is indeed a rare highlight. And you look gorgeous and healthy, too. Mazel tov!!!

    • dearrosie says:

      It’s always such a pleasure to welcome you here Dinah. Thanks so much for your enthusiastic response to my post.
      It was a thrilling experience to knock on a stranger’s door and immediately feel as though she was an old friend.

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