thinking about friends and ✔✔’s.

A full moon day is a powerful time for transformation and healing. I’ve written before about it being a time to plant the seeds for forgiveness, and to clear the path for creative thoughts.

Last night’s full Moon photographed with my little camera…

"Full moon rising over L.A. at 5:10pm on January 8, 2012."


In yoga today, after we’d done a meditation “to clear our Karma” our teacher asked how we felt,  and she told us she’d picked up that someone in the room – which was packed, we were sitting on the floor mat-to-mat – was supposed to have a bad car crash, but the energy in the room had helped clear it. “Drive carefully!” she said.


In the car park after the class Linda was so delighted to see me (I haven’t been to that yoga center in a while and she hadn’t seen me in the packed room) she got out of her fancy-shmancy BMW sports car to say hello and hug me. It felt good.

While I drove home I thought about all those other people in the room, and why I don’t know them, and wondered why I (and the security guard Wazir), still don’t have many good friends in L.A.

Is it because people in Hollywood are so insincere and phony?

Perhaps we’re rushing around trying to do all those never-ending errands? (Another week and I still haven’t bought the plastic bottle to spray vinegar and soap on the lemon tree, my sweater waits patiently to be taken to the dry cleaner, but I did get to the car wash this afternoon…)

Or maybe we can’t bear the thought of driving across town through all the traffic just to have a glass of wine with a friend?  It’s much simpler to go straight home and drink wine in our jammies.

Or there’s simply not enough time to spare for friends. Europeans get four to five weeks leave. We get two.

Or long work hours. I rarely get home before 7pm each night.

Or is it a sign of the times?

  • Most people don’t answer their phones. If I phone a friend, I usually get a text message back. The only calls we get to our land line phone are from strangers calling from a political party or a charity who say to me “Hello Mrs Freed how are you today?” to which I say, “solly, I’m the cleaning lady…”
  • Have you noticed how many people on Facebook don’t do any more than click the “like” button?

I read a friend of a friend’s Facebook wall post last year. This guy wrote:

“I haven’t written for a few days because I’m devastated to tell you that my beloved wife – – – has taken her own life. Please give me my space, and forgive me if I don’t respond for a while.”

More than one person responded by clicking the like button. If you don’t know what to say, why on earth would you click the like button?

I’ve noticed too many bloggers are clicking the like button on posts and not leaving a comment. I don’t know about you but I feel it’s rude. We all want readers at our blog but I want “readers” not  ✔✔’s.

In an earlier post 2012! Blogging awards, and gifts for friends I mentioned sixteen bloggers by name and gave them each a gift for being my blogging buddy. I’d barely posted it when one of the sixteen just ✔clicked the like button without leaving a comment.  In our society when you get a gift you usually acknowledge it.  I waited for her comment, thinking she was busy and would come back later to read the post. She didn’t.  On Facebook there’s an app to “unfriend” someone. She didn’t unfriend me, she pretended to read, which is just plain bloody rude.

I shared this quote and the flower before, but have to share it again:

Gardenia (Photo credit: Priya, of Partial View)


Still in a way-nobody sees a flower-really-
it is so small- we haven’t time-
and to see takes time, like to have a friend takes time

– Georgia O’Keeffe



About dearrosie

We think we need so much, when all we really need is time to breathe. Come walk with me, put one foot in front of the other, and get to know yourself. Please click the link to my blog - below - and leave me a comment. I love visitors.
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57 Responses to thinking about friends and ✔✔’s.

  1. Boris says:

    Seems like a night for a full moon hike – what a lovely moon – maybe you’ll meet a new friend and, like the owl and the pussy cat, “They dined on mince, and slices of quince,
    Which they ate with a runcible spoon;
    And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand,
    They danced by the light of the moon,
    The moon,
    The moon,
    They danced by the light of the moon.” – Edward Lear

  2. Mahalia says:

    I learned today that the full moon this weekend was the Full Wolf Moon. Seems relevant.

    From the Medicine Card book, by Jamie Sams and David Carson: Wolf is teacher. Baying at the moon (psychic energy, wisdom and secrets of the unconscious) may indicate a desire to connect with new ideas that are just below the surface of consciousness. “Wolf medicine empowers the teacher within us to come forth and aid the children of the Earth in understanding the Great Mystery and life.”

    So, this weekend was a good time to seek that which is below the surface within us, and bring it forth. Perhaps it also indicates that the time is ripe for sharing what we have learned.

    Note that though most of us think of wolves as lonely creatures baying at the moon, they in fact live in communities or extended families, with lifelong bonds. So, wolf teaches about connection, too.

    take that, like button!

    • dearrosie says:

      The information about Wolves is really interesting Mahalia. I thank you for copying it all out for us.

      This line in particular speaks to me “a good time to seek that which is below the surface within us, and bring it forth.”

      All the photos of a wolf baying at the moon show a lone wolf – I didn’t know that wolves live in communities with lifelong bonds. I wonder why wolves got to be described as “big bad wolf”.

  3. E fullstop says:

    Interesting that you’d get such a disconnected response from someone you’re genuinely trying to connect with. As for the response to your friend’s friend’s posting — it’s startling and shocking, but unfortunately not unheard of. Worse yet are hateful comments made to online articles about people losing their lives in freak accidents. I recall such an occurrence around deaths in Yosemite.

    What is it about the lack of personal responsibility and accountability that is facilitated through technology in this day and age? I don’t have an answer, but it’s a big reason I’m one of about 5 people I know that are not on Facebook.

    • dearrosie says:

      Hi e fullstop,
      I think you’re the only person I know of your age group who isn’t on Facebook – Good for you e – but my heart breaks when I hear that people are writing hateful comments after folks have died in freak accidents in Yosemite. What’s happening to us as a people?

  4. Priya says:

    Convenience is a trickster. Though there are many benefits, it dulls our senses before we can say “I’d like some stimulation, thank you very much.” I see around me people who live, talk, sleep, eat, even excrete to accommodate unnecessary convenience. Earlier it made me sad. Now, it annoys me.

    Mahalia’s comment on Full Wolf Moon* is something I wish I’d read this weekend so that I could make use of this information — So, this weekend was a good time to seek that which is below the surface within us, and bring it forth. Perhaps it also indicates that the time is ripe for sharing what we have learned.

    I hope it’s not too late.

    “solly, I’m the cleaning lady…” Ha ha, Rosie! I cannot imagine you doing that. And now that I know that you have, I have greater respect for you.

    * Bhartan will appreciate Mahalia’s words. Wolves are his favourite animals, for they are fierce only for threats to their family, are gentle and loving within it.

    • dearrosie says:

      Hi Priya
      I believe we can still reap the benefits a few days after the full moon and that you’re not too late. I hope you shared it with Bhartan. I think it’s exciting to “seek and bring forth that which is below the surface within us”

      oh oh what am I to do now that I’ve given away my secret when I speak to the phone canvassers..?

  5. magsx2 says:

    What a great picture of the moon, it looks really Huge. From reading the comments I learn it’s a wolf moon, and that seems a very appropriate name for such a moon.

    I’m not on facebook but can understand your point. I don’t see much sense in going to someones page or blog and then not reading what was actually said, it doesn’t make a lot of sense. I have heard some pretty nasty things about facebook especially after a tragedy, of people even creating a hate page. Why people do these type of things I will never understand.

    • dearrosie says:

      HI Mags,
      The moon was huge wasn’t it? I’m glad you liked the picture. It seemed as if it was rising right opposite us.

      There are some things about Facebook that I like. I don’t know about the hate pages after a tragedy. I don’t go there.

  6. I love that you quoted Georgia O’Keefe … in the huge, tall book of her collected paintings there are a lot of her writings, and they are all just poetry. Your beautiful photo of the moon reminded me of the story she told about going out in the desert with her sister and shooting guns … it was just so spare and lucid and beautiful! Your point about merely clicking “like” is well taken, and I was SO touched to be included in your beautiful end-of-the-year post and given a wonderful present, I can’t believe somebody wouldn’t take the time to write a thank-you comment. We’re all moving too fast and slowing down is going to become the new elixir — Pico Iyer wrote a beautiful column about it in the NY Times, wish I could find it for you!
    (and thanks for re-including the beautiful gardenia by Priya .. it was my mom’s favorite flower & the photo is so luscious, I can almost smell it!)
    xoxoox b

    • dearrosie says:

      Hi Betty,
      I’m going to look for the huge tall book of Georgia O’Keefe’s collected paintings and writings. I love the story of the O’Keefe sisters going out to shoot guns.

      I’m glad you understood my frustration and what I meant about someone just clicking the “like” button even though she and her blog were mentioned by name. There’s nothing wrong with clicking “like”. I found it really funny that no one clicked the like button for this post. I don’t have anything against that button. In fact I’m very honored when folks click it. It’s just that I thought it rude to acknowledge a gift by ticking the like.

  7. heather says:

    I am not too familiar with the blogging and facebook worlds of check marks or ‘like’ marks – yours is the only blog I read.
    But I think sometimes that life gets really crazy and a check mark is like an acknowlegement or a pat on the back, saying ‘ you are in my thoughts’ and hopefully followed by a real life note (the best thing) or a phone call.
    I myself am dreadfully behind on communications from the holidays because the flu swept through my family and we had 9 people down in rapid succession including out of town guests and frail eldery. The rest of us picked up the peices. We have several birthdays as well as christmas and new years and it is a totally overwhelming time.

    We can not know what is happening in the world of the ‘like’ marker, except to know that they did in fact take the time to read or some way look at our page, and sometimes that connection could mean a lot in their world even though they did not give back to the writers page for all to see.

    Today as things right themselves, I am writing notes and letters and making calls. I have many appologies for late responses and can onlyhope for understanding friends (including you Rosie!).

    I did see the full moon rising over the city when we took the children skating
    and I love knowing it was the wolf moon! I feel like a joyous wolf howl myself for surviving this season!

    • dearrosie says:

      What a pleasure to see you here Heather. Thank you for taking the time to write. I’m honored that mine is the only blog you follow.

      I’m very sorry to hear so many of your relatives had flu over the holidays. I hope your parents are OK? Please send R many happy birthday greetings.

      I heartily agree with what you wrote:
      “a check mark is like you’re saying ‘you are in my thoughts’ and hopefully followed by a real life note”.

      which is what I expected she’d do. I understand how one can be awfully busy (remember I work full time and write this blog and I don’t get any vacation time over xmas — it’s our busiest time of the year). But here we are 10 days later and there’s no thank you note. So I believe, she just clicked “like” without reading the post.

  8. “and to see takes time, like to have a friend takes time” Love this quote. As I teach Spanish literature, I like to incorporate Latin American and Spanish art. I tell my students, just like a painting can be viewed time and time again, literature is to be reread…I suggest at different stages of your life. How sad “Done that. Worn that t-shirt.” can overlap to more thoughtful and serious matters. Where are the boundaries?
    “Sheesh” is right. Sorry for the stress you ironically experienced in your meditation class. But, yes, we need to be reminded to be careful. As a teacher, I worry (not a good word) for my students, too, after they leave my class.
    I left you a gift at my site.

    • dearrosie says:

      Hi Georgette,
      Oh my goodness thank you so much for my gift. I am truly honored to receive the beautiful Candlelighter award from you 🙂

      the Candlelighter award is for “blogs and bloggers that light a candle in the darkness with their blog”.

      I didn’t know that you taught Spanish literature. I hope you can use the quote with your students.

      Driving to work this morning (it’s my week to drive) a car suddenly shot out in the lane in front of me and I thought “Oh my god here’s the accident…!” But he swerved away in time. Sheesh.

  9. Sybil says:

    It’s ironic that it seems harder to connect with people in larger cities.

    I call friends here in Nova Scotia and if they’re not home, get a call back as soon as they are. If you lived here, I’d call you so often you’d have to block me. 😉 Maybe even get a restraining order …

    On the unwanted call front — I picked up the ringing phone yesterday to hear a recorded male voice simply say: “Press one”. I hung up. Wonder what the heck would have happened if I had pressed one ?

    • dearrosie says:

      Hi Sybil,
      I don’t know whether connecting with people is a big city problem or a sign of the times so I’m glad to hear your vote of confidence for Halifax.

      Now you’ve got me wondering what would have happened if you’d pressed one?

  10. Sybil says:

    forgot to mention that I too was taken with last night’s moon as it rose, across the Bedford Basin (Halifax harbour), that I too took its portrait. The sky was that deep blue that Scott Thomas (Views Infinitum) talks about … and the moon was reflected in the harbour …

    • dearrosie says:

      I find it interesting that no matter where we live we’re all looking at the same moon 🙂 It must’ve looked magnificent reflected in the water. Let me know when you post your photo.

  11. Mal says:

    Rosie, you’re spot on where Facebook’s concerned. Sigh.
    But on a happier note… Congratulations on getting the Liebster award, well done! Wishing you a super fantastic 2012! 🙂

  12. Val says:

    First off, London’s like L.A. People don’t connect – at least not with strangers. They use all the excuses under the sun: they’re too busy, they’re too tired, their kids have done this that or the other, their work is taking all their time, they meant to but they forgot… and on and on it goes. It’s one of the reasons I moved to a rural area.

    I love your photo! 🙂

    The ‘Like’ button on WordPress is different from the Facebook one, it’s meant to be used to appreciate a post when the person can’t think of something to say. It certainly doesn’t mean they haven’t read the post or are being rude, I’m sure. (Though it’s sometimes used by spammers, unfortunately, for their usual mischievous reasons). I’m afraid I’m one of the people who uses it sometimes rather than posting a comment (though not in the post you mentioned, I’m relieved to say!) – I’ll try to remember not to do so in your blog – but if I do, please forgive me! Did you know that you can turn off the ‘like’ button in your blog? You can turn it off on a post-by-post basis or globally for the whole blog. I’ve turned it off before now.

    As for Facebook… I hate the site, I find it too superficially all round.

    • dearrosie says:

      Hi Val,
      I’m so glad to hear people are friendlier in the rural area where you live. That’s two votes against big cities.
      And three votes against FB

      I’m honored that you like my photo. 😀

      In response to your comment on the “Like” button on WordPress:
      1. I know that sometimes people tick it when they can’t think of something to say, but want to let the writer know they appreciate the post. I don’t see anything wrong with that.
      2. I love when you’ve come and have clicked the like button because I know how busy you are, so it’s nice to know you were visiting me.
      3. I don’t see the need to switch it off. It feels good knowing someone who isn’t your Mum liked your post.
      4. No matter how tired or busy you are Val, I don’t think you’d click the “like” button and not leave a comment if I’d mentioned you and your blog in my post?
      5. What I thought was rude was that someone clicked the “Like” button without reading the post.

      • Val says:

        No, it’s not in my nature not to at least say ‘thank you’, Rosie. Though sometimes I click the button meaning to return to post a comment later and then forget! 😉

      • dearrosie says:

        Most probably the simple explanation was she planned on coming back, but forget because like all of us she’s so overwhelmed with all the blogs she follows…

  13. souldipper says:

    My thoughts, Rosie…it’s a time issue.

    Sometimes that Like button is simply an acknowledgement of appreciation because the person hasn’t got time to compose a comment they would want to say. There’s a lot of good blogs to read.

    A couple of blogs to which I subscribe contain such profound concepts that to write a comment feels like I’m breaking open the very elan or “sense” that was meant to be created. In fact, often there are more Likes than comments on those blogs.

    Face Book is another creature all together. I started to use it as communication with younger family members who I would not ordinarily hear from. I realized they really don’t want to hear from older family members (would I have wanted an Aunt commenting with my friends?). So the Like button is perfect…I am able to acknowledge that I liked what they said but I can respectfully stay out of the mix! 😀

    My quandary has become this, Rosie. I like to give a response that has substance. If I’m pressed for time, Is it better to hit the Like button or do nothing and just leave the site?

    Some people post so frequently that they take the lion’s share of time. I’m having to consider how often to comment on some posts made more than once a day!

    Out of interest, one bit of feedback I received from readers expressed appreciation for infrequent posts.

    • dearrosie says:

      Hi Amy,
      I too joined FB to communicate with younger family members living far away and yes I too have often clicked the like button. That’s what it’s there for.
      But my question was, when a man has written that his wife killed herself, why would someone click the like button?

      Yes if one is pressed for time or if the blogger is posting every day it’s better to hit the like button on a blog so the blogger knows you were there.
      But Amy when I gave you a gift you didn’t just hit the like button. You wrote me a very charming thank you note. [As did Val – which I forgot to mention]. Now I don’t give gifts just to get thank you letters. I give gifts because I like giving gifts. I just think we all expect more than a tick as a response.

      In your lovely recent post “Awards: Accepted with Gratitude – Passed On with Love” did any of your recipients click the like button without leaving a thank you comment?

  14. You know, I caught that full moon, but just barely! We had a very cloudy sky. I was pulling the drapes in the front windows when I saw it. Called my kids over — run! I said — and they caught a glimpse before the clouds obscured our view.

    What is it that is so divinely compelling about a full moon? Much to contemplate, as your post does.

    • dearrosie says:

      Hi Melissa,
      How lucky that you looked out in time to catch a brief visit with the moon.

      I was lucky because we were ‘gifted’ with a perfectly clear sky, and a perfectly clear view of the moon rising right outside the window of the store. It was so magical all the tourists ran outside to capture it.

      On my drive home the moon was so bright and large suspended in the sky above the freeway it seemed as if it were lighting the way just for me. I think that’s part of the magic of a full moon like that.

  15. First of all, your “little camera” took an amazing photo of the moon. For someone who said they can’t take great photos, you sure did!

    Secondly, I had a panic moment that I was one of the slugs who didn’t leave you a thank you note, but phew, I made my mother proud and did say something. Nothing profound, but that isn’t my strong suit anyway.

    Souldipper wrote my particular feelings. For those deep blogs I read, I often feel not worthy of submitting a comment that might be frivolous for the content so I leave, but I do click “like”. Kinda like being a kid and leaving a note on the doorstep then running!!?? 🙂 I feel it’s a small back-door compliment and for me, much better than writing something stupid.

    No Facebook here either. I plain and simply have too dull a life to share what little I do with others! I’d put them to sleep.

    • dearrosie says:

      HI EOS
      A complement on one of my photos from you, is praise indeed. I thank you.

      Interesting to see how we all react differently to the clicking of the “like” button. Several people didn’t want to voice their opinions in public and emailed me to say they agree with me.

      Honestly I don’t think any of us bloggers expect a long speech in a comment, we’re all swamped by work and home obligations plus writing our own posts and reading all the blogs we follow takes up an enormous amount of time. I hadn’t written a deep blog – I know how hard it is to come up with something suitable for those posts. This was a fun post for friends, and a simple “Thank you” is totally fine as far as I’m concerned.

  16. Hi Rosie, I rarely click the ‘Like’ button on WP, because when I do, do that, it indicates (to me) that I like a post in its entirety, which is rare. Because I am not easily pleased. Comments I leave more often. And even though it takes up so much of my time, I have observed that I just cannot leave short comments! But at the same time, I also don’t feel compelled to comment on every single post of people I religiously follow. I trust them to know that irrespective of my ‘likes’ or ‘comments’, I adore & respect them.

    Umm.. I have discontinued being on FB, because I came to hate that online neighbourhood, for exactly the kind of ‘mindless’ behaviour, like the example you have mentioned. What’s to ‘like’ about a man losing his wife?? It’s too ridiculous to even discuss.

    You know, I feel very strongly about people excusing themselves by saying ‘not enough time to spare’, all the time! I believe, we make time for what we want to do. If we really want to do it, that is. If we find ourselves lacking in time, then our will was not strong enough, to begin with. That, and sometimes old age makes you forget. That I can accept.

    I hope your yoga classes go better than that on most days. Imagine going for peace of mind and coming out with a car crash hanging on your head.

    [ P.S. – My ‘like’ on this post is meant to show you how much I agree with what you said. Plus, you love Shahrukh.. yayyy! : ) ]

    • dearrosie says:

      Namaste AIT,
      Thank you for leaving me such a lovely comment. It’s always a pleasure to meet a kindred spirit.

      I’ve been going to that yoga center for a few years now and that’s the first time the teacher’s ever said anything like that. We were all speechless. I think that’s why Linda gave me a hug before she drove off in her sports car.

      I’ve seen quite a few Shah Rukh Khan movies and we even have some of his posters on our walls (as I explained to Priya), but to be quite honest I don’t love the guy, I admire that someone who was born in 1965 can still dance like that. Unbelievable!
      I still have to tell my friend that you’ve been to Shah Rukh’s bungalow! Was there an awful lot of security at the front gate?

      I really appreciate that you ✔ liked my post.

      • Namaste Rosie, I am glad my comment made you feel nice.. time spent feels worth it now. : )
        You know, I have never had any movie posters. I don’t remember the security, but for a family of 5, they probably employ 50 people at their house alone!

      • dearrosie says:

        AIT I’ll have to photograph my friend’s garage for you. It’s wallpapered with Shah Rukh’s posters.

        I agree with [your comment to Priya] that part of the boredom with Shah Rukh is you know he’s going to be the perfect son, brother, boyfriend, husband, father… which never happens in a Merryl Streep movie for example.

      • The amount 3 of us have talked about him, one of us can make a post out of it. Your friend could provide enough material. It’s an idea!

        ( Meryl Streep is one actor I would pay good money to watch.. more than willingly. )

      • dearrosie says:

        What a good idea to offer my friend a guest blog on Shah Rukh. I don’t think many of my readers know who we’re talking about.

        I loved Meryl Streep’s performance as Margaret Thatcher. (I wrote a post on it.)

  17. “On my drive home the moon was so bright and large suspended in the sky above the freeway it seemed as if it were lighting the way just for me.”

    Rosie, that is exactly how I used to feel when driving home from a long day of helping out with my dad. It was an hour’s drive and the moon was such wonderfully comforting company…

    I went back to see if I had thanked you – with my miserable memory it would not have surprised me if I was the one. Phew! Sometimes I don’t read blogs for a few days and try to catch up – sometimes when people post every day I just click the like button after I’ve read and commented on one or two of the posts – just to let them know I was there and did read it, even if I could think of nothing further to add.

    Sometimes I wish there was a *hugs* button on Facebook for when someone’s status says they are sick or depressed or frustrated, or a *sad* button for when someone posts a sad news story. But if someone posts that a family member has died, one should certainly leave a few words in a sympathy comment.

    I didn’t know you were on Facebook, Rosie. I find it a great way to keep up with kids and relatives and special interests, and to play Scrabble. I just block notifications from the other games people are playing and ignore the posts that are not worth commenting on. If you want to connect there, too, I’d be honored to have you as a Facebook friend, and if not, I do understand!


    • dearrosie says:

      Hi Barbara,
      After a day of caring for your Dad, and then having to face an hour’s drive it’s almost magical that the moon lit the way home for you.

      Oh goodness, I’m sorry to have caused you any anguish over whether or not you left me a thank you. I didn’t write about this to make people feel guilty.

      When people post every day and I’m unable to keep up with their output I’ll read a couple of random posts and leave comments for those. And if I like any of the posts I’ve read, that’s when I ✔ the like button.

      Oh gosh if Facebook had *hugs* or *sad* buttons in addition to like buttons would people ever write again? I don’t often visit FB but next time I’m there I’ll look for you.

  18. Kate Kresse says:

    Dearest Rosie: your post giving out the awards was truly lovely. What a wonderful and thoughtful way to do it. I understand your frustration with the like button. sometimes it does seem like people don’t bother to read the post they just see it is a post from you and click like and move on. this seems proven by the fact that they didn’t formulate a response at all to you giving them an award. I don’t know that there is a solution. I do know since starting the award i started i see proof that the positive FAR outweighs the negative. I love your blog

    • dearrosie says:

      Hello Kate,
      It’s an honor to welcome the originator of the Candle Lighter Award to my humble home. I love the words you used to describe the award: “a blog that brings light to the world.”
      I display your beautiful award in my sidebar with much pride, and thanks.

      I’m encouraged when I hear you say that the positive far outweighs the negative.

  19. sandypics says:

    dear rosie,
    your life in la sounds like my life in mumbai…always so much to do and actually getting nothing much done and most of it seems so trivial any ways…in an attempt to simplify life and be more a people’s person,i am moving to a small town in goa…pretty back to basic life…hope to find the time to be more available to people:))

    thank you for the wishes..the exhibition took off to a flying start thanx hugely to friends…and now am encouraged to take this to the next level…

    have a great sunday…

    • dearrosie says:

      I’m delighted to hear that your exhibition went off so well. You deserve it. Your portraits of people in the streets are brilliant.

      Interesting to compare life in LA with Mumbai and find it’s basically the same, that we spend so much time going round in circles without managing to accomplish anything – or anything worthwhile…

      Lucky you being able to move away to a simple life in a small town in Goa. Will you be near the ocean? I’ve seen photos of some of the beach towns in Goa – they’re idyllic.

      Thank you for popping in.

  20. Nandini says:

    I loved your moon photo a lot, Rosie. 🙂 Great post with great thoughts !

  21. shoreacres says:

    Rosie, I’m wondering if the person who clicked the “like” button here was having the same problems with WordPress that I was. Not only have I been unable to comment on some blogs, I’ve received email notifications of readers’ comments which did not post to my blog.

    I emailed wordpress support, which couldn’t figure it out, but after a time things seemed to get back to working. I certainly hope this will post, although I intend to copy it just in case!

    As I’m sure you know, I do a little light tweeting, but that’s the extent of my “social media” use. I never have texted in my life. I wouldn’t have the first clue on how to do it. When I went to Louisiana over Christmas, I didn’t even take my laptop. I had three days to do nothing but talk to people, experience bayou life and make a few notes with a pen in a spiral bound notebook.

    One of the reasons so many people have so little time (in my opinion, of course) is that facebook and so on are terrible time sinks. I have friends who spend an hour or two each day checking their “walls”, changing their status and so on. Who has time for anything with that going on?

    Beyond that, FB, texting and Twitter simply don’t allow even for in-depth cyber-conversation. I would much rather spend time reading blogs and replying in full sentences, complete with proper spelling and punctuation, than just click a button! My thought is that if someone is going to go to the trouble of posting something substantive, they deserve an acknowledgement of their effort – and their thought.

    But I’d best stop now, because I’m running on. I always like the moon, but I like the gardenia more. I had bushes filled with them in Liberia, and their scent takes me straight back there.

    • dearrosie says:

      Hi Linda,
      Hooray it posted! I’m interested to hear of your problems with WordPress not posting comments. Do you think they are becoming TOO big?

      I didn’t know you “tweeted”. I haven’t gone down that route, but while I’m on FB I’m not there very often. I just use it as a way to keep in touch with distant relatives and friends. I find it very funny when friends standing next to each other, write messages on each other’s walls.

      I thank you for writing:
      “I would much rather spend time reading blogs and replying in full sentences, complete with proper spelling and punctuation, than just click a button!”
      and “if someone goes to the trouble of posting something substantive, they deserve an acknowledgement”

      I recall you saying you’d lived in Africa but I didn’t know you’d lived in Liberia. Have you blogged about your time there? It’s a country I don’t know much about and you’re such a great story teller I know I’d enjoy your tales.

      I loved the posts of your Christmas vacation in Louisiana and now that I learn you only took a pen and spiral bound notebook with you I like it even more. I also leave my computer at home when we go on vacation and use a pen (that doesn’t leak in the airplane) and a spiral bound notebook.

  22. dearrosie says:

    I’m glad to say I received a very nice email apology from she who just ✔✔ liked my post. Apology accepted, with no hard feelings.

    I think we’re all struggling to keep up with the writing, reading and commenting that comes with being a “blogger”.

  23. I am completely in line with what you have said. I myself live in the capital city of my country and have to keep up with the cosmopolitan environment everyday. Each day we say hello to so many people at office just to show that we exist. We often tend to make numerous excuses for not calling our family and friends. For the sake of being professionals, we over-exert and drain ourself out that we do not have time for anything.

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I actually got lost while reading this post.

    • dearrosie says:

      Always a pleasure to welcome someone new to my blog. Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to write a comment.

      I’m interested to read that someone who lives half way round the world also finds the stress of life in the big city exhausting. Why do we accept it? Why don’t we throw down our tools and say “Enough!” ???

      I’m glad you visited so I could discover your blog. I enjoyed reading your post about rickshaws. It sounds so exotic!

  24. munchow says:

    Friendship is always a strange thing. I have long time ago realised that I cannot keep up with a huge amount of friends – on a regular basis. So I am prioritising a handful of very close friends which I try so see every so often. I don’t really think it mattes where you live. Being very social when you are 20 is no big deal, but it’s definitely much harder later on. I still believe one should not be rude even on internet and towards other bloggers – and of course this comes from one who almost missed your lovely post with gifts to friends. But yes, a little bit of courtesy does make a big difference.

    • dearrosie says:

      Hi Otto,
      Thank you for stopping by and for your thoughtful comment.

      You travel so much I imagine you must have friends all over the world. I know how hard it is to keep up when friends live so far away and was delighted when I first discovered the pleasure of communicating via emails in the early 1990’s. Before that, I’d write snail mail letters once or at the most twice a year, but with emails I could connect daily with friends, if I felt the need, and very often did. I love it.

      I most definitely agree we should make the effort to see our few close friends more regularly. Why do you think it gets harder to be social when you’re older?

      Being polite and courteous on the internet goes a long way when tone of voice is missing so one can misunderstand what someone’s trying to say.

  25. Arindam says:

    You said it all. From past few days, I am also having the same thought in my mind. Even I feel the same, when someone just hit a like button than commenting on it. It’s really rude. In case if someone is posting only a photograph, then it’s somehow fine. But if a person spends lots of his time writing something and a person just hit the like; it’s somehow hurts. But people feel it’s right for them, so they do it; so i thought it’s better to ignore them rather than getting hurt by their way of appreciation. 🙂
    I also have a very few number of friends. But I am glad all of them are ,my friends since a long time. Now many of us are located in different countries due to our jobs. So I realize with time that, few close friends are better than a large circle of friends, who do even know what is the value of friendship.
    Thank you for this post. It speaks for all of us.

    • dearrosie says:

      Hi Arindam,
      Thank you for your comment. I’m glad to hear that even you – a person in his 20’s – think it’s rude to click the ‘Like’ button. My parents always taught us that a few close friends – those you can count on one hand – are better than a huge circle of “acquaintances”.

      Yesterday a Facebook friend of mine who lives in New York, wrote the following on her Facebook page:
      “Here’s my new fashion accessory: a splint and sling. After my 5 mile run with my dog this morning, I tripped while walking home. WALKING!! Broke my arm right below the elbow. Crazy, right?”

      and 13 people clicked the LIKE button. Honest truth.
      What’s to like about someone falling and breaking their arm?

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