I sometimes wonder whether I should just be a robot giving out directions, so all the tourists would have to do is press #1 for bathroom, #2 for paintings, #3 for photographs, #4 for the garden, and so on because the questions never change no matter the time of day or month of the year.
What am I asked the most? Directions to the facilities (even when my Satellite store is right next to it).
Question: Is there a restroom in this building?
Me: It’s downstairs.
Question: Downstairs in this building?
Me: Downstairs, in this building.
If you need to go, what euphemism do you use? I wrote down exactly what folks asked me last weekend:
- Do you know where the nearest bathroom is?
- Excuse me, is there a restroom?
- Where’s the ladies room?
- Excuse-a-me, where is the lest loom?
- Sorry, is there a rest room on this level?
- The ladies room…..?
- Which direction to the washroom?
- Say me, where are the restrooms?
- Excuse me, where’s the closest bathroom?
- Can you tell me where the ladies room is ….?
- Where the toilet?!!
- Is the restroom downstairs?
- Where’s the little girls’ room?
- Excuse me, my son needs to use the potty. Do you have a restroom?
- Excuse me, is there a restroom on this floor?
- Where’s the nearest ladies room?
- Excuse me, where are the bathrooms?
- Hi there, may I ask where’s the closest restroom?
- Hello, could you tell me where the restrooms are?
- Excuse me, where the -ah- closest ladies room?
- Excuse me, where are the nearest washrooms please?
- Hi, lest loom?
- Do you know where’s the rest-a-room?