Does it get better? I dare you to read this and not cry…

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Many of us wore purple yesterday.

Over 10 million people have watched the “It Gets Better” video project started by Dan Savage, where adults record a message of hope to help LGBTI (Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Intersex) teens understand that things aren’t always going to be as awful as they are in high school, “because life will get better when they’re older”.

President Obama and Hilary Clinton have joined the many celebrities recording messages of hope. It’s impossible not to be moved by the testimonies;  for example, have you watched Fort Worth Texas City Councilman Joel Burns’s message?

But does it really get better?

Dr Cary Costello, a midwestern American professor who is “intersex by birth”,

Intersex people are supposed to lie low and keep quiet. Not me. I’m not defective, I’m not disordered, I’m not ashamed. I just don’t fit in your M/F boxes

wrote in his blog, The Intersex Roadshow, one of the most moving honest articles I have ever read by a LGBTI person, entitled, “Does it get better?

For those of us who are gender-transgressive in appearance, whether we have chosen to be seen as genderqueer or would like nothing better than to be able to be gendernormative, but must live with physical androgyny, harassment does not end in high school.

Both Dr Costello, and his spouse (who is intersex by birth)  are white and live in Wisconsin:

All my spouse and I have to do is go to our local Midwestern Walmart, and it’s like the circus came to town. People stop, and stare, and shake their friends’ elbows, and point.

Every trip to a public bathroom exposes my spouse to danger of outrage or violence or police intervention, so she rarely ever uses one

Here’s the link to Dr Costello’s blog, “Does it Get Better?”

Thank you for explaining your side of the story to us Dr Costello. I hope enough people will read your blog so that LGBTI travelers will be able to walk on the street, and be greeted with respect, and that the common decency will spread to doctor’s offices, schools,  police officers and your local Walmart.

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About dearrosie

We think we need so much, when all we really need is time to breathe. Come walk with me, put one foot in front of the other, and get to know yourself. Please click the link to my blog - below - and leave me a comment. I love visitors.
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2 Responses to Does it get better? I dare you to read this and not cry…

  1. bronxboy55 says:

    Well, you educated me today, Rose. I had never heard the term “Intersex,” and your post prompted me to follow one of your links and then do a little more research on the side. Clearly, gender is a spectrum and not just two opposite and distinct categories, as we long believed. When we all finally understand this, we’ll stop labeling anyone as “unnatural,” a term that is self-contradictory and accomplishes nothing. Thank you for this post.

  2. dearrosie says:

    Thank you for your response BronxBoy. I don’t think many of us have heard of the term “intersex” (I hadn’t until a few years ago) because people who are labeled as “unnatural”, and are looked at like a “circus show” don’t feel safe to be out in the world. I applaud Dr Costello for being “brave” enough to tell the world his story.

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